Current project!

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I decided to go ahead and post a little bit of what I have been working on. I hope you all like it! 🙂 Enjoy!


This is the first test. I know that now. I see it’s varying degrees of pedigree trying to stamp me out. Try as it may, it will fail. I am all but the last remaining. Minority. Outcast. I have not chanced upon another like myself in a very long time. So I will live as the last…and pretend it doesn’t bother me. The world has changed much with only shattered glimpses of what it used to be. I hide myself now. It’s better this way. For if I am discovered, there shall be none left to tell. I must, above all, remember for you, my love. 

They stopped looking for me a long time ago or at least they must have. Thought me to be dead after all this time and I should be dead. But instead I mostly loiter old ruins. Places millions flocked, now hauntingly empty and abandoned. It’s easier now than it was at first. I used to pick through the rubble, searching for I don’t know what or some relic of the past. I once found a whole unopened pack of Trident gum. I called that day Christmas. But it’s been long since I held out any hope of a clue. The artifacts I find now are mostly for survival. 

I do not know how many years have passed anymore than what started it all. From what I have gathered from the small clippings I found, no one really knew what happened or who shot first. All I know is they tried to use nature against us and it back-fired on them as well. They turned our very trees against us. Venom leached out their bark and poisons filtered from their leaves. We lost a good many before we realized. In one bold attempt to save ourselves, we lit the landscape ablaze. Burning all tree and bush alike til the dust settled and all that remained was a dusty, barren desert. A ruin of concrete and ash. In the country the high winds spread the fire quickly, leaving me alone among the still smoldering ashes of hundreds that were once my friends and neighbors. I was thirteen…

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Princess

Random thought at 1 AM…

I have this sort of secret desire for someone to call me princess while I am trying to prove how tough I am. You know. Carrying a long bow or an ax, or cleaning a fish or something. Like, this world has gone seriously downhill and people have taken to the hills and live off the land. Or, ya know, when I’m brooding or angry or frustrated, arms crossed at my chest, stern look on my face. Does that seem strange? 

princess

 

 

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A Day Of Rest, A Night of a Million Stories!

I hope you are all having a wonderful Thursday! Hang in there, the weekend is right around the corner! I Decided to take the day off from writing anything mindbogglingly important and go for a walk to the library. Where I live the closest library is about a three mile walk away and naturally my mind wanders. I can’t help feeling like Belle and I have an awful lot in common. We both love books, libraries, tea, and have a soft spot for beasts. It doesn’t help that she is my absolute favorite Disney Princess. Besides Peter Pan she was the one I always used to dream of running away with. 

Anyways, I took a rather long walk to the library and managed quite a haul! Here is a picture of some of the books I checked out!

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1) “Twice Told Tales” by Nathaniel Hawthorne. 

“Twice Told Tales” is a collection of short stories first published in 1837. It receives its name from previously being published in magazines and annuals. I LOVE Mr. Hawthorne! I have loved him since I first read “The Scarlet Letter” and I have loved him everyday since. I am very excited to read this and can’t wait to tell you all what I think! He is definitely not the author for everyone. Even Edgar Allan Poe used to write unflattering reviews of Hawthorne’s work. But even he later admitted, “The style of Hawthorne is purity itself. His tone is singularly effective—wild, plaintive, thoughtful, and in full accordance with his themes… We look upon him as one of the few men of indisputable genius to whom our country has as yet given birth.” 

Click here for more information on Hawthorne or his works.

2) “Flowers For Algernon” by Daniel Keyes.

I have been interested in reading this book ever since a friend of mine told me about it. It’s a science fiction short story first published in 1958. Algernon is the story of a lab rat that has undergone surgery to increase his intelligence and is told in a series of progress reports. This book has been challenged and successfully removed from several libraries across the United States and Canada. So naturally, I am curious! 

Click here for more information.

3) and 4) “The Hunger Games” and “Catching Fire” by Suzanne Collins.

Ok, I will admit…I saw the movies before reading the books. I am a naughty, naughty person. But to my defense, I have a lot of books on my “to-be-read” pile and I am glad to finally be getting to these. I know that the books are a lot different than the movies (Like most) so I am really excited to jump right into them! 

Click here for more information.

5) “While Mortals Sleep” by Kurt Vonnegut.

Oh, Mr. Vonnegut, our relationship is so touch and go. I love you, I really do. But a person can only stomach so much…I hope that by reading more Vonnegut I will embrace the side of him everyone loves so much. This book is a collection of 16 previously unpublished short stories that came out in 2011.  

Click Here for more information.

6) “Myst: The Book of Atrus” by Rand and Robyn Miller.

I will admit here, dearest reader, that I picked this book up because it was pretty. I know better then to judge a book by it’s cover but something about this book spoke to me. The pages feel old and think, like the rest of the book itself. It has it’s own little charm. This is the prequel and first in the three-part series, “The Myst Reader.” It’s British sci-fi, it was on USA Today’s best selling list, and it centers around a character that “has the ability to write special books which serve as links to other worlds.” I’m sold! 

Click here for more information in the series.


 

I’m off to dive into delicious books! Better get the kettle ready and settle in. 😀

Have an adventure for me, love. ❤ 


 

Comment below if you have read any of these! What are your thoughts? (No spoliers!) 😉 Do you have anything you would recommend? 

 

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5 things About Me.

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There is a lot of tips out there for starting up a blog. It’s almost overwhelming. But none of it seems right to me. I’m not interested in gaining much more than myself and I am just happy to know that there is someone out there. It makes me very happy indeed to know I am not alone and you have already proved that to me. So I thought I might take a moment to share a little bit about the person you are reading.

Here are 5 things about me:

 

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1) I have, through out the years, been fueled by the belief of something big. Something that connects and binds. Even as a little girl I dreamed and imagined and hoped. I knew in my bones that there was something I was supposed to be doing, people I was supposed to help. A feeling that makes me want to wrap my arms around the whole world. I’m not sure what I would call it but i know it has many names to many people. It is, above all else, the reason I do anything. I need to help people. I need to let them know they are not alone. I need to change the world. Does anyone else feel this way?

 

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2) I have been always a student of life, an absorbent sponge of literature, a dedicated bibliophile. I carry them everywhere, sometimes reading more than one at a time. I love everything about them. I have a very large personal library of over 2,000 books but I cannot stop buying them. They are delicious treats and I want to eat them all up. I want a bookstore of my very own and I have been dreaming about t for quite some time. Although life has taken me on many twists and turns, I am positive I will get there some day.

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3) I am a hopeless fool for love. I believe very strongly in it’s own special brand of power. First kisses, love at first sight, forever. I know they are real because I have experienced them, have felt them in my soul. I am naturally drawn to any and all things concerned with love. Try as I may to pretend otherwise, I am as hopeless and girly as them come when it concerns matters of the heart. Flowers and romantic gestures make my little heart melt. 

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4) I am a total foodie. I love cooking and baking and entertaining. I love trying new restaurants and experimenting. I love the idea of food being more then just food but an experience. Something that wakes up your senses and fills you with warmth. I would love to be a judge or write reviews for restaurants or cooking shows. I think it goes without saying that I am a lover of Chopped and Cake Boss. I can’t get enough and i don’t care if it does all go to my ass! 

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5) I am sort of old fashioned in an English sort of way. I love tea, books, gardens, Jane Austen, and generally living like a hobbit. I love making my own bread, butter, soaps, you name it. (Even if I don’t get to as much as I would like.) I love the idea of a library with french-style door leading out to a garden. I find something charming in fresh pressed flowers and classical music. I think I could live out the rest of my life quite happy in the countryside. Perhaps a simple cottage. That makes my heart happy. 

 

I hope that gives you a little more insight about who you are reading. I really enjoyed writing it and I hope you enjoyed reading it. Do we have any of these things in common, dearest reader? 

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How I Made Nothing In 48 hours.

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There is not much I have done to be worthy of your merit. In fact, in the last two days I have done nothing but binge watch an entire season and a half of Once Upon A Time. I admit, it’s a guilty pleasure. But I can watch EVERY stinking episode on hulu.com! I was feeling more than a little lazy. I haven’t really been motivated to do much my whole life. Always taking the easy way out, avoiding conflict, and keeping my head down. But I don’t feel like I want to live like this anymore. I hold hope in happy endings and faith in goodness. More than that, destiny. I wish I could jump out of bed and hit the day head on. Or at least pat it on the ass. But unfortunately I suffer from a lack of fate. Try as I may, search as I will, I cannot find it. So, you see the goal of this rather small and simple blog: Discovery, motivation, hope. I will write until I find myself and then I will keep writing. I am going to try and write as much as possible because the more I write, the closer I get to finding my voice.

Thank you so much for starting this journey with me. I hope you will not be disappointed.

🙂

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“Hands Up, Don’t Shoot.”

Will you do me a favor, my dearest reader? Will you help me change the world?
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I think it’s time. Lets start a revolution, just you and me. Let’s change the world, one person at a time. Let’s move the mountain of prejudice and injustice and replace it with a sea of love and understanding. Let us christen the new world with compassion and start over. If only it could be so easy. The world is a hard and cruel place. It is unforgiving to the best of us and benefits the worst. I don’t want to live in this world anymore. I want a better place, one I know cannot exist. There is so much hate and pain and hurt. I feel it with every pore of my being. I wish to hold the world in my arms like a crying child, hushing it’s fears over the bully of life. It is too cruel that we were created too very diverse. We cannot all understand each over, no matter what we say. Someone will always hate us, someone we will never even meet and for something as petty as the color of our skin, our sexuality, our dreams. How fucking stupid is that? Everyone is beautiful and unique and deserving. No one is born exempt from this rule. No one. So lets stop all this madness. Let’s sit in the streets and turn off the tv. Let’s run wild and free, careless and full of wonder, like the wild-eyed child from our youth. No one can stop us if we do it together: Love who we want, live how we want, dream as big as we can, and take care of each other. We can never forget to take care of each other. It is, after all, in the darkest of times I need you most and baby, I need you. We need you. We need to remind each other that we are not alone. We are all in this together, no matter who you are.

Unite the lefties, the righties, the middles, and inbetweenies. Unite the sign wavers, the freedom fighters, the hopefuls, the doubtfuls, the lost, the found, the dreamers, the doers. Bring the media, make the media, be the media. Bring the voices, all at once to be heard. Bring the eyes, for the world MUST see. Bring the hearts, that they may break and heal in a single heart beat…

“Hands up, don’t shoot.”

Please, Won’t you help me?

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On My Own Mortality…

picSomeday I will die. I will cease to live. I will no longer be. I am haunted constantly by the notion of the unknown. I will die. I will be gone forever and I don’t know how are when. Oh, please let it be painless. Let it be easy. Let it be when I am old and ready. When I have discovered the world and myself. I know we are, not one of us, luck enough to know when. But I pray I may be ready. Let my daughter be grown and her own person, that she may not live out her younger years without me. Oh, god…how do we deal with it all? That someday we we all die, each of us, and be left to the bedrock to be forgotten…

These are the thoughts that keep me up at night and cause my constant panic attacks. Though we try and live are lives as normal as possible, though we try to forget, our time is borrowed. We are temporary. Control what we may in our lives, it is the one thing we cannot.

I have often imagined myself glimpsing at a flicker of future possibilities. But only a flicker is all I am able to digest. Much more than that and I feel that old ache in my chest again. It is a strange phenomenon and one that provides no comfort. It starts in the center of my chest and spreads slowly to the rest of my body. I feel like I’m dying. What else could it be? It is not the feeling of control, of life, of hope. It is fear. I am terrified. It feels like my body has fallen asleep and is slowly waking. Much like an arm or foot too long forgotten. I don’t want to die. But no one does, right?

They say that this life has so much possibility, endless doors to open. I have not seen them. They are boarded up windows and I wish to bring in the light. I have no hope for myself. This world has presented me with no opportunities, no goals, no dreams, no admiration. I am condemned to the poverty so graciously bestowed upon me. I have no car, no phone, no job. I live with my parents at the edge of the world. I place too far and forgotten to be bothered with. The closest store miles away and the closest neighbor a complete stranger. I feel horrible alone and lost. What am I to do? I once had the notion to dream of better things for myself and my daughter. But I alone am the grand ruin of our lives. I could not keep a job. I lost our home. I lost our car. It is all my fault. I wish, more than you could imagine, for hope again. For a chance to be happy and live the lives we deserve. But I am lost and troubled and sad. What good could I possibly do?

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